Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Number 1 - The First.

I suppose I ought to clarify. I do have a view of a park, but I'm not really a princess. Well, my dad called me princess when I was younger, but he's not a king. In fact, he's a massive wanker, so I don't think it counts. But, in my head (which is where I tend to live about 71% of the time) I think I probably could be a princess. I'd be a cool one, too. Cool in that I am hardly ever "papped" (I rarely leave the house), and when I do leave the house, I look like a chubby fishwife. Quite the change from the coiffured, designer-label wearing royalty with legs like gazelles and hair like Rapunzel from Disney's Tangled.

But of my little abode, I'm pretty regal. The dog thinks so. And he is never wrong. Apart from that one time when he ate another dog's poop, but we don't talk about that.

Things on my mind today: it's cold and thermals make me itch. I'm hungry. Christmas/New Year TV is much more entertaining when you're a little bit tipsy.

That's all for now folks. Apparently, it being Christmas and all, I am expected to mingle with other humans, by being something called "sociable." It's a fad. It will never catch on.

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